Nobody said it would be easy, but boy oh boy, neither did they say it would be so hard. While you can read book after book on the subject of parenting and try to prepare yourself as best as you can, the fact is that becoming a parent for the first time is extremely challenging. While there’s no avoiding the challenges that come to new parents, there is power in knowing that it’s something that all new parents go through — and that also means there are plenty of words of wisdom out there that can help you, too.
In this post, we’ll look at some of the biggest challenges that you may face — and offer advice on how to manage them as best you can.
The Mindset Shift
On the face of it, you’ve just added one more human to the little clan in your house. In reality, everything has changed. Having a baby is akin to any other major life change you can think of, as radical as moving to a new country. Your lifestyle will shift so dramatically that you’ll essentially forget about the one that you used to have.
There are two solutions for coping with this (if it’s a problem for you). The first is to try to retain some aspects of your old lifestyle wherever and whenever possible. The second is to fully embrace this new lifestyle; rather than lamenting the things that you can’t do, think of all the things that you get to do.
Minimal Sleep
Everyone warns new parents that their days of being well-rested are over (for now, at least), but no one truly believes it…until they’re in the middle of another sleepless night, and realize that they haven’t slept properly since, well, forever.
It’s not realistic to think that they’ll be extremely well-rested. But there are things you can do that will keep total exhaustion at bay. First, give up on perfection — your house does not need to be spotlessly clean. Second, make the most of when your parents are playing with their new grandchild to get some shut-eye. Even 15 minutes of sleep can do wonders for your mental well-being.
Constant Changes
Having a newborn baby isn’t just one big challenge; it’s a series of many big challenges. That’s because by the time you’ve figured out what you’re doing, your baby will have grown to the next stage of their life, and the old ways of doing things just won’t be relevant. It’s just part of them growing up! You’ll notice when things start to change around the 7/8 month mark. This is a turbulent time in a baby’s life, and unfortunately, you’re the one who has to deal with the fallout. Hopefully, this shift won’t be so bad, but if you find yourself struggling, then turn to words of wisdom from the experts. The article ‘Caring For Your 8 Month Old Baby: The 8-Month Crisis’ will be especially useful once the changes begin. And always remember that you dealt with the first few months of your baby’s life just fine, so you’re in a strong position to handle whatever else they throw your way, too.
Parenting Anxiety
Most people go through life only thinking about their own well-being. When they have a baby, suddenly they’re directly concerned with someone else’s wellbeing. And not just any old person, but a small and defenseless baby. It’s normal for new parents to feel a pang of anxiety for no reason whatsoever once they realize just how vulnerable their baby is.
You can calm yourself down by reminding yourself that if your baby made it out of the womb, then they’re already extremely strong and fit for life. They’ll get a couple of bumps along the way, so don’t worry about it.
Maintaining a Relationship
You and your partner will have had a strong and beautiful relationship before your baby came into your world. But then? The mania of the first year of parenting can put a lot of strain on relationships. That’s not because the partners don’t love each other any less, but because they just don’t have the time and space to reconnect. It’s all about the baby! Plus, you’re tired and exhausted and not in the mood to speak to someone else. We get it.
First, remember that this will pass. You won’t be getting up multiple times a night forever. Second, look at small opportunities to spend time together. You might not have the time to spend a night gazing at the stars, but a quick walk when your parents are looking after your child will be valuable.
As we said in the beginning: parenting isn’t easy! But it will be worth it, we promise.
