My Health Condition Is Affecting My Relationship – What Can I Do?
Whether chronic or acute, illnesses can take a toll on the understanding of “in sickness and in health” vows.
We all understand the effects that sickness can have on our personal life. However, sometimes, the effects may extend to our relationships. Though the acceptance of these effects can be subjective and vary from person to person, it does not mean that they are not there.
Reports suggest – people suffering from chronic health conditions such as diabetes or arthritis are more likely to have differences in their marriage. A possible explanation could be the sudden change in the patient’s behavior. And the other partner might not be fully prepared to cope with such changes.
Nonetheless, you can easily tackle these frictions or drifts in relationships.
Keep reading to learn more.
Communicate More Often
The biggest problem that comes with sickness is the communication gap. People, all of a sudden, stop discussing things and matters with their partners. Caregivers can begin to feel trapped or taken for granted. On the other hand, the patients may start to feel frustrated by their condition, often shying away from conversations.
Not discussing problems that do not have an easy or obvious solution can lead to differences and a lack of intimacy. A social worker at Boston College says, “If the couple is consumed with talking about the illness, that’s a problem. If they never talk about it, it’s also a problem.” Indeed, the couples have to find a middle ground.
Communication is the key here. As far as the patients are concerned, they can try, but caregivers need to be extra careful. For it is not easy for the patients to cope up with their condition. And the constant feeling of frustrations can sometimes even bring the worst out of them. Instead, the caregivers can soothe them by understanding when, what, and how to communicate
Control Stressful Emotions
Many chronic diseases are unpredictable, for instance, multiple sclerosis. Learning about a chronic illness suddenly only adds to the stress and anxiety. As a result, the pressure can sometimes also take a toll on the intimacy in a relationship.
Not to mention, sexual health can also sometimes be affected by these stressful emotions. For example, premature ejaculation and libido are some of the common intimacy issues that couples face. Though over-the-counter (OTC) drugs and creams are available to treat such conditions, couples also need to choose more subtle strategies to deal with such issues.
Relationship and family health experts suggest finding and addressing resources to tackle these problems. For example, you can click on this link https://www.promescent.com/blogs/learn/lidocaine-premature-ejaculation-spray to learn more about OTC solutions to deal with stress-related premature ejaculation. It can be a small, still effective way to deal with the initial phases of illness-related stress.
Socialize More Often
Isolations are one of the most common after-effects of illnesses, be it chronic or acute. There could be several limiting factors involved, for instance, if one of the partners uses a wheelchair. In some cases, it could also be possible that lethargy might limit socializing, as in the case of diabetes.
These feelings of isolation can quickly build up frustration and a sense of not being appreciated. Further, these could lead to clashes and differences in the relationships. Reports suggest that couples suffering from chronic diseases are six times more likely to be suffering from depression.
Self-isolations are not the solution here, as the leading family counselors suggest. Indeed, caregivers should try to socialize as much as they can, without guilt. It should help keep the caregiver’s identity intact and also help lift the mood. Besides, the patients would also feel at more ease when they can sense their partners to be happy with themselves.
Tackle Financial Strain
Chronic or acute illness can be a huge financial strain for any couple. Additionally, it is possible that one of the spouses may lose their job because of the illness.
For instance, any physical disability can easily hamper the income streams. On top of that, bills for medicines and treatments can further add up to the financial burden.
It is rather convenient to work with a financial planner who has experience dealing with chronic health conditions. Learning about ways to cut medical expenses can be an added benefit.
Address Caregiver’s Health
Often, in trying to help the patient, the caregivers neglect their own health. Now, health in this context can be both physical and emotional. Nonetheless, failing to keep up with their health, caregivers often fail to care for the patients too.
Addressed as caregiver burnout, the symptoms can vary from person to person. For example, some may experience flashes of stress while others may experience phases of depression and anxiety attacks. Withdrawing from social life, loss of interest in hobbies, feeling irritable and helpless at all times are some other common signs to look for.
As a caregiver, spouses and partners need to address their own condition. Seeking help for such conditions would only assist in maintaining a healthy relationship.
Tip: Prize Each Other
When one of the partners suffers from any illness, the other partner can act as a healthy anchor. Besides, developing a mutual understanding can act as a buffer to let out all the frustrations and prevent stress build-up. Walking and coping through difficult times is what helps in strengthening relationships.
Think of the important things in your relationship. For example, your kids or the reason why you got in the relationship in the first place.
Enjoying the little moments of pleasure and laughter with each other can help rekindle the fire in your relationship. And in the end, staying together in times of difficulty is what matters the most.
The Takeaway
Caring for the relationship is not a one-person job. Both partners need to play their part equally. That being said, difficult times are often the testing times for couples. And the ones who stick around for it to pass are the ones who see the bright days after the dark nights.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
