As a mom it’s had to watch our kids ie young men grow up or at least it is for me. Because of this some days don’t come in neat little packages. Nor do those days don’t line up with schedules or quiet evenings or the kind of peaceful routines people talk about when they say “family time.” Some days are just lived minute by minute, hour by hour, doing the next thing that has to be done.
And today feels like one of those days. Actually the past couple months or even this year has felt like that with part of the time Charlie living here and the other part living in Hobart, Oklahoma. Now he is back home for good or at least I hope and PRAY its for good.
Charlie and Bradley have been working long hours—longer than I think most people realize a young man should have to work, but they’re doing it. The boys are coming home late, tired, feet hurting so badly Charlie has got blisters and bumps from shoes that just aren’t the best for what he’s doing. But he still goes. Just like his dad and his grandfathers.
One day the boys worked from 2 p.m. to 3 a.m. Another day it ran late again. And still, the boys get up and goes back to work. I’m proud of both Charlie and Bradley who is working just as hard in his own way, trying to get caught up, trying to get his rent back on track, trying to steady things that got ahead of him. Life didn’t hand him an easy start to this season, but he’s pushing through it anyway.
And then there’s something I never thought I’d see from this group of kids—but I’m seeing it now. They’re growing up. Not just in words. Not just in “I’m trying.” But in action. Through the things Charlie has been working on in his car and trying to decide to invest in a house for us.
Charlie even made a decision recently that surprised me. Instead of asking for money for gas or leaning on us like he might have before, he said he wanted to go give plasma so he could take care of it himself. David and Charlie went last night which gave them time to talk because with my health I can’t donate so I was able to stay home and work. Which was a Godsend.
That might not sound like a big thing to some people, but for a young man who is trying so hard to stand on his own two feet, and hates needles more than anyone I know that decision means something. It means pride. It means effort. It means he’s thinking ahead instead of just asking behind.
And he’s not alone. Bradley’s girlfriend Ghost and there friend Joseph even went and donated. Proving our kids are growing up. So what I’m seeing around me are teenagers and young adults finding ways—real, responsible ways—to handle their own needs. Not perfect ways. Not always easy ways. But honest ways.
And as a parent, you notice that. You notice when your kids stop asking first and start figuring things out first. You notice when they start carrying their own weight. You notice when growing up isn’t something you’re telling them to do anymore—it’s something they’re stepping into on their own.
But I won’t lie about the other side of it. I am tired. I’ve been staying up to make sure the boys make it home from work. Then try and get up when David leaves and work between everyone’s schedule because David has to go get a couple nights a week to go and pick the boys up.
There’s a kind of tired that sleep doesn’t fix which is why I try to lay down between 10 and 11, and I don’t really fall asleep until I know Charlie and Bradley are home. Then sometimes I’m back up at 3 when David leaves for work, and after that, I’m just… up. Worry doesn’t always let you rest the way you want it to.
I’m thinking about work. I’m thinking about schedules. I’m thinking about whether everyone made it in the house safe. I’m thinking about the next thing that needs to be done before the sun even comes up. And still, life keeps moving. Especially with a house full of dogs.
David is working hard too, and I’m grateful for him in ways I don’t always say out loud. He’s been doing what he can, taking care of things, running when someone needs something, showing up even when he’s tired himself. Tonight alone he’s already been pulled in different directions like most fathers and husbands are in busy households.
So we keep going. One foot in front of the other. And tonight, even in the exhaustion, there’s still a little moment of family joy waiting at the end of the day. Because Charlie—of course—wants to go see Bradley’s puppy. And if I’m being honest… I want to see that puppy too.
So yes, we may keep David out a few extra minutes tonight. We may stay up a little later than planned. But sometimes life isn’t about sticking to perfect schedules. Sometimes it’s about showing up for your kids, even when you’re tired. Sometimes it’s about watching them grow, even when it stretches you thin.
And sometimes it’s just about love, exhaustion, and still choosing to go see the puppy anyway. Because this is life right now. And we’re learning it together. In the blink of an eye Charlie may say mom I’m getting my own place which I would hate but its time.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and Davd Cates
