I don’t know about your relationship with your significant other but some days marriage doesn’t look like date nights or big plans or anything that feels like it belongs on social media when it comes to David and I. Rela life gets in the way more times than not but that is what happens when you have a job, life and teens young adults to take care of.
For David and I some days it looks like passing each other in the hallway, one of us talking about errands, the other trying to remember where we set our drinks down, and both of us moving through the day like we’ve got a hundred things pulling us in different directions. Which more times than not we do.
And still… there’s a question I keep coming back to. Did I date my husband today? Not in the restaurant sense. Not in the movie-night sense. But in the “did I actually see him today” kind of way. I know he is sleeping next to me but did we even speak at all?
Did we laugh for a second in the middle of stress? Did we talk instead of just coordinate? Did we still feel like partners instead of just roommates handling life logistics? Did we turn off the electronics and put the phones down long enough to even say hello.
Some days the answer is yes without even trying. Other days, it’s something we have to rebuild in small moments—coffee in the kitchen, a shared joke, or just sitting in the same room while life keeps moving around us.
Marriage at this stage of life isn’t loud. It’s not always planned. It’s built in pieces. And maybe that’s what makes it last. Because even on the busiest Tuesday, there’s still a chance to look at the person you’ve lived life with and say—without saying it— I still choose you in this ordinary day from now until eternity.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
