It’s Saturday and it’s 🌤️ 8 AM most people might be sleeping but in my home it’s — “The House when the house wakes Up and So Does the Stress”. This is the Hour Where Moms Go From ‘Good Morning’ to ‘Lord, Give Me Strength’ Hour Where Moms Go From ‘Good Morning’ to ‘Lord, Give Me Strength’.
If 7 AM is “survival with Caffeine,” which might be Maxwell or Folger’s Coffee or Sweet Tea and a glass or Water if I remember to get the Water then 8 AM is when “everyone suddenly needs something at the exact same time.”
This is the hour where:
- teens may or may not start wandering like confused zombies
- dogs start acting like they haven’t been outside in 12 years
- Dad is calling me on the phone to check on me and wish me a good morning. Here is where “Did I Date Myself or Did I Date My Husband” comes into play.
- Gerald is glued to the couch unless food or my sister calls
- C is asking for money, for food even though the house is stocked to the gill’s coffee and also asking for money for his game system. 18 LORD help me this child needs a j.o.b. I know naughty word is #teensslang.
- William and Bradley are asking Charlie what they’re doing today because LORD knows there not going to do dishes or take the trash out.
- and Mom? Mom is trying to figure out what the day even is
This is the hour where moms go from:
“Good morning, sweet family” to “Why is everyone breathing so loud?”
8:05 AM — The Real Mom Checklist (Not the Pinterest One)
Pinterest says:
- light a candle
- stretch
- journal
- drink lemon water
- meditate
Baby… I’m lucky if I can find my bra and my sanity. Forget the Fitbit and phone.
Here’s the REAL 8 AM checklist:
✔️ 1. Who’s awake?
Not who should be awake. Who’s actually vertical. No, one in my home not even the Dogs. Well mabey Gerald.
✔️ 2. Who’s hungry?
This determines whether breakfast is:
- cereal
- pizza
- leftover ribs
- or “figure it out, you’re old enough”
For me more times than not lunch, brunch breakfast is at noon.
✔️ 3. Who’s leaving the house today?
Games? Errands? Work? Nothing? Everything?
Not, me as usual I am stuck working but thank the LORD I have things to do because I’m the only one besides David that realizes money don’t grow on Trees and we could use help with the groceries and bills.
✔️ 4. Who’s already in the way?
This is usually:
- teens
- dogs
- husbands (Only on Wed and sometimes Thursday if honey-do jobs don’t call David
- laundry
- your own thoughts
✔️ 5. What needs to happen before 10 AM?
Not the whole day. Just the next two hours.
8:10 AM — The 5-Minute “Mom Sanity Reset”
Because moms don’t get time — we get moments.
Step 1: Open all the blinds
Balcony and Back Door we need fresh air in this house because men and dogs stink.
Light fixes more than therapy sometimes.
Step 2: Clean my bathroom.
Now C’s just mine because it’s the guest restroom and even though everyone uses it no, one knows how to clean it.
Or you could do one load of laundry of you have a washer and dryer we use the Laundry Mat here in our complex and David does laundry on Sundays. Thank the LORD one thing I don’t have to do.
Step 3: Drink water
Your body is 80% Coffee or in my case Milo’s Sweet Tea and stress right now.
Step 4: Put on deodorant
Because someone will hug you today and you deserve to smell like hope.
Spritz some Body Spray on from Dollar General and for today Dolly is perfect.
Step 5: Tell everyone:
“I need 5 minutes. Don’t talk to me unless you’re bleeding.” is that going to work in my home more times than not no.
8:20 AM — The Bougie Beer-Redneck House Walkthrough
This is where your voice shines.
You walk the house like:
- “Why is this here?”
- “Who left this?”
- “Why is the dog eating that?”
- “Why is the teen breathing like that?”
- “Why is Gerald pretending he can’t hear me?”
You pick up:
- socks
- cups
- wrappers
- dog toys
- chargers
- someone’s hoodie
- someone’s attitude
You mutter things like:
- “I swear…”
- “Lord, help me…”
- “If one more person…”
- “I’m not doing this today…”
This is motherhood. This is ministry. This is cardio.
8:30 AM — The “What Are We Doing Today?” Family Meeting
This is the meeting no one attends but Charlie and Gerald participates in.
You ask:
- “What do we need today?”
- “What are we out of?”
- “Who has a game?”
- “Who needs a ride?”
- “Who needs money?” Get a j.o.b. because I don’t even have money for me.
- “Who needs to clean their room?” Me. Me. Me.
Responses include:
- “I don’t know.”
- “Not me.”
- “Ask him.”
- “Ask her.”
- “I forgot.”
- “Can we get pizza?”
- “Can I have $20?”
This is why moms drink coffee like it’s communion.
8:40 AM — The 5-Minute Grocery List (Real Version)
Not the cute printable. Not the color-coded list. Not the “meal plan for the week.”
Just the real list:
- milk
- bread
- eggs
- snacks
- toilet paper
- something for dinner
- something for your sanity
- dog treats
- whatever C forgot to tell you he needed
- whatever Gerald will eat without complaining
- Pizza
- Ranch
- Mayonnaise
Done.
8:50 AM — The “Mom Wants to Run Away” Moment
Every mom has it. Every day. Around this time.
You look around and think:
“I love y’all, but I swear if one more person asks me something…”
This is normal. This is motherhood. This is why God invented coffee, prayer, and the ability to hide in the bathroom for 3 minutes.
Its time for me to retreat upstairs to work thank the LORD I have a space to call my own now and it isn’t in the kitchen.
8:55 AM — The Teaching Moment: How to Survive 8 AM
Here’s what moms need to hear:
✔️ You’re not behind
You’re just outnumbered.
✔️ You’re not failing
You’re doing 47 things no one sees.
✔️ You’re not alone
Every mom is one question away from losing it.
✔️ You don’t need perfection
You need a plan for the next hour.
✔️ You don’t need help
You need people to get out of your way.
That is why there is Calgon and Wine.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
